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Punch Magazine Issue 119 Friday 16th December 2022

PUNCH Magazine
The Official Weekly humourous and satirical publication of MIKE JESSOP

Punch Magazine Issue 119 Friday 16th December 2022 FACEYBOOK TWITTERY and More UPDATES

The year in tweets2.htm

Great Uncle Serjeant George Austen Burt 1890 - 1915

Years of Pre-Tweets

GGST what we need is a summary

WHIG PARTY HACKS#28
With more than 2 in 3 (67%) of Australians aged 18 and over who are overweight or obese This is a serious problem with dangerous consequences such as diabetes and morbidity YOU MUST ACT NOW PLEASE - you have been warned
Eat half what you normally eat and don't eat after 6PM
And you will loose weight 4 kilos in 10 days no problem

Eat half what you normally eat and don't eat after 6PM
And you will loose weight 4 kilos in 10 days no problem
ie no food after 6:00pm and drink only water after this time

Fruit veg protein ( fish meat eggs cheese yoghurt) cereal etc Minimising both natural and non natural refined sugar intake eg raw sugar lollies - very sweet fruit or food containing honey coconut oil etc

Minimise saturated fat intake and minimise the proportion of carbohydrates in your diet so 25% protein 25% fruit 25% veg and 25% carbohydrate if you must - a chip butty is a complete no no!?

Cut down the proportion of carbohydrates ( avoid the usual suspects potatoes bread spaghetti rice) and concentrate on protein fruit and veg

Water drink 30ml-40ml each day for every kilo you weigh ( this will go down hopefully)

Burn fuel off in the existing fuel tank ( ie your fat FAT stomach) with two, three or four walks a day ( and or Exercise bike / real bike swimming whatever form of exercise you enjoy ) for at least 21mins at a time where you are out of breath ( burning more oxygen and therefore fuel) And you will loose weight 4 kilos in 10 days no problem

Weigh yourself using an accurately zerod and checked set of scales At any time of day and record the weight/ date/ day/ time/ ( and temperature) - 5 columns

You will see yourself burn more fuel when it is cold so turn that central heating down and don't rug up so much at night

You will notice differences in weight before and after eating food and drinking and before and after evacuation ( and your density and buoyancy will change after - never mind) after flatulence there - I've said it - not really

Your ideal weight can be estimated depending on skeletal frame and muscular build https://www.calculator.net/bmi-calculator.html to see how much weight you need to loose eg Lose 29.7 kgs to reach a BMI of 25 kg/m2. Oh God!?

Lifting any more than 20kg is above the legal maximum - that's a bag of cement dust - as a rule of thumb what you weighed when around age 25

follow this and you will hopefully succeed

Above all it's more about fitness than fatness
* With more than 2 in 3 (67%) of Australians aged 18 and over who are overweight or obese This is a serious problem with dangerous consequences such as diabetes and morbidity YOU MUST ACT NOW PLEASE - you have been warned